I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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