the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
