two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
