guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Ladies don't puke and tell
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
