She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
