I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
