He disabled his match.com account in front of me
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
