I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
