Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
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