I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
