So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
