Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize