Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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