you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
