I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
