Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Send help, water and tortillas.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
