I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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