So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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