Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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