Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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