I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
The adults are the big ones right?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
