After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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