is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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