i don't plan on having that self control this summer
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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