Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
