Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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