I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
