Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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