suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
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I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
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You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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