Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
