I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
