if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
