Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
