I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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