Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
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