508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
