so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
