you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
