I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
