We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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