maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Buhtt sex?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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