Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
