so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
