And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
