I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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