I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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