Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
