I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
