Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
