I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
