Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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