I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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