im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
