i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize