What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I would fuck him just for his dog
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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