Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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