Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
