I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
