im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
