Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
