Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
