Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
